Hi friends, I'm not feeling so good right now and probably will be back here in a couple of days.Both myself and "little one" seem to have a stomach bug.Be safe, be kind and no fighting.. see you soon.

Sometimes in the midst of unspeakable tragedy, there is something that gives us hope. I'm sure that the whole world has now heard about the shootings at Virginia Tech. Senseless killing and unimaginable horror. I simply Can NOT imagine that terror that those students and faculty felt as they waited to see if they would be killed. I heard on the news that a professor barred the door of his classroom until the students escaped through a window and then was shot in the head and died. The news reported that this same professor had survived the Holocaust. He survived that madness and came to America to find safety. I imagine that he would have been old enough to retire, but must have stayed on working to keep his mind and body active.His story gave me hope. I was horrified and saddened when I heard about it all. All of it, but one man stood out. He stood up for others lives. I would imagine as he stood behind that pounding door, that he felt fear. He probably prayed and said his goodbyes mentally to his family. He probably pushed against that door with all of the strength in his aging body. He must have asked God how he could allow evil to enter his life once again? And then his strength ran out. The insane gunman broke through and ended a noble life. What is wrong with us? All of us? American people and people throughout the world? Why have we allowed evil to take away our lives? I am just as guilty as anyone. I have watched movies with excessive violence. I own a gun. I have also tried to save lives as a nurse. A contradiction that I am ashamed of. How do we stop it? I don't know the answer but I imagine that once again, God is weeping for America.

The other day Dixie posted a really neat video about Native Americans.It haunted me and made me remember. My grandmother was a Sioux Indian.I will always regret not writing down more of the things that she told me.When you're a child you think that you have forever. She was Lakota Sioux, descended from the likes of Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse. A proud people that didn't deserve what happened to them. When I was a child, we visited relatives on Rosebud Reservation In South Dakota. Since I lived in the South I was accustomed to racism but NEVER saw it like I did there. My cousins and I went to the REZ (reservation) store and because I had "more white" in me, they waited on me. But not my cousins. Racism is a huge topic in the news today BUT who is standing up for Native Americans? No one. The most maligned and destroyed group of people in the history of this country has no one to speak for them. Traders would bring blankets to Indians infected with the Smallpox virus. They were lied to and destroyed. Indians could NOT read English then and they signed anything that was put in front of them. They trusted people to be as honest as they were. They lost thier sacred land and they lost thier hunting grounds. My grand mother had one finger missing at the knuckle. As a child that both fascinated and repulsed me. I asked her what happened and she told me a story. It seems that she lost a child from the "fever" when that child was small. Her tribe would cut of a finger when that happened. They had to have a physical pain to make them forget the emotional pain. I never asked her if that worked. She and I would go out into the woods and gather herbs. Herbs for childbirth pain, herbs for nausea, herbs for so many things. She revered nature and she respected animals. I sometimes wonder if it would be a gentler world if we all thought like they did. I am proud of my heritage but I wished that I had listened a lot more... I wish that I had not waited until it was too late.

I have been pondering something lately and might as well get it out. This may be something that has touched your life. It has certainly touched mine. it's about fathers not wanting to see the children that they made. Just NOT wanting to. I know that may sound sexist because there are women that leave as well. It almost seems to be epidemic now. Babies never knowing who thier fathers even are. How
can a child even go on without the knowledge of it's history ? I know that there are exceptions. There are women that can't LET men see thier children. Sometimes because the women fear for thier lives and thier childrens lives. That's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about the men that create a life and walk away from it.They throw away these children like empty fast food wrappers. Disposable children. One of my closest friends is adopted. She has gone through life long pain , just wondering about her past. I would give anything that I own to help her find her history. Anything. She in turn, is one of the finest mothers and grandmothers that I know.She is loving and she is nurturing. I hope that I don't step on any toes. I have raised a child that didn't know his father. I have seen his pain through the years. How can it continue to happen? How can you KNOW that you have a son or a daughter in the world and not care? YOu have to be aware that you have missed it's first tooth, first day of school, and even your childs wedding. This is a chioce that these men ( and sometimes women make). To turn away from your own flesh, your own blood. Maybe one of you can explain it to me? It is an everyday occurrence now , it is a tragedy. It makes me shake my head and wonder and it makes me weep. How can it happen?

Hi all, I was going to write something today but got really pissed off. Ya'll should know this. I saw a comment on my last post that said " Courtesy of sparkle.something. SO... being the illiterate computer person that I am, I tried to see what it was. Guess what it was? A damn trojan horse. Thank God that I have a really good virus protection so no damage was done BUT...it could have been differant. I'm not even going to write to any of you or answer you ( you know who you are until I run some more scans. Just be aware. there are some real sickies out there. take care all and we'll talk soon..